Let's Hate the Niners Together

It’s a rare team that can engender a great deal of antipathy from opposing fans without the luxury of winning a single Super Bowl, but the Jim Harbaugh-era 49ers are that unicorn franchise: three straight NFC Championship Game appearances, one Super Bowl trip (a loss in the Har-bowl) and a legion of haters who love to see Jim Harbaugh lose his mind when things go against San Francisco.

Count me among the legion.

I’m indifferent to the fortunes of most NFL teams, but I enjoy watching the Niners lose. I have nothing against their fans -- like all fan bases, most of them probably pay their taxes and stay out of jail -- but the team itself is simply easy to root against.

Them losing means two things: I probably won’t have to see many instances of Colin Kaepernick kissing his biceps following a touchdown, which was totally badass when I was 12 and into professional wrestling; and I will probably have the opportunity to see many instances of Jim Harbaugh getting his khakis in a bunch.

That’s it, that’s all I’m going on.

Are there players and coaches on the 49ers who kiss babies and rescue baby seals? Probably. Have I read about them? No. Do I want to read about them? What, and interrupt my straight-forward narrative of why I root against the 49ers? No, thanks, I have enough nuance in my life.

The Niners are more inconsistent and unpredictable this season than the Giants. San Fran beat St. Louis on the road, 31-17, and then two games later lost at home to the Rams, 13-10, when Kaepernick fumbled at the goal line on a quarterback sneak that would have won the game for San Francisco. Harbaugh went ballistic, Kaepernick’s biceps went unkissed: It was a perfect ending. Ya know, as long as you weren’t a Niners fan.

Whether or not the Giants can win this week boils down to one question: Can they score more points than San Francisco?

To do that, the Giants will need to keep San Fran from approaching Seattle’s rushing total in last week’s 38-17 drubbing (350 yards). To put that into perspective, the Giants allowed the Seahawks to go down-back-down-back-down-back and half way back again. Hopefully the Seattle running backs were given the week off to rest their legs.

Rashad Jennings’ legs should be well rested after missing the last four games with a sprained knee. For the Giants to have any chance in this game, Jennings will have to have a solid outing. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 yards rushing, 100 yards receiving, and maybe a blocked punt or two.

In the absence of such numbers, the Giants would benefit from another good game from budding superstar wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr., who last week played so well that Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman exchanged jerseys with Beckham after the game, perhaps confusing Odell with his brother David, who played futbol, not football.

Let’s face it, the Giants’ season is on the line this week. Keep Harbaugh angry and keep Kaepernick’s lips away from his biceps. The rest will take care of itself. 

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