Call it the joy of hex.
The 30-year-old from Wheaton is auctioning his Cubs loyalty to the highest bidder on eBay. Moore will root for the team of the winner's choosing. He hopes to heal his pain, raise money for theater charities, and put another 100-year hex on the North Siders.
"I hate to say it, but I think the time has come... to place another hex on the lowly Chicago Cubs," Moore writes in his item description on eBay. "My goal is to hex the Cubs for another 100 years for their cruel treatment of their fans. Therefore, I will accept bids from fans of any team."
If a Cub fan wins the bidding, which is at $495 and counting, Moore will suffer some more.
"I will accept bids from ANYONE, even Cubs fans," Moore says. "That means that my loyalty will go to the highest bidder, even if that means I have to get my guts scooped out every year for the rest of my life (as a result of a winning Cubs bid)."
If a fan of another team wins, Moore will burn his Cubs gear and relinquish his fandom.
"The hex is aimed at overpaid, under-performing, 'professional' athletes, not fans," Moore said. "I will not apologize for this decision. I'm doing this on behalf of people who have been screwed out of theatre by companies who charge too much to recognize they exist, and on behalf of Cubs fans who have been too loyal to know they deserve better. It pains me to do, but it needs to be done."