Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and set a new date for the Rapture. How about June 15, 2017? Seems as good a date as any other. LET’S GO!
TOO BIG TO FAIL – 9:00PM (HBO) HBO has again assembled a host of Oscar-pedigreed talent for their latest TV opus, this one based on Andrew Ross Sorkin’s best-selling book about the 2008 financial collapse. William Hurt plays former Treasury secretary Hank Paulson, who so kindly gifted all your tax money to AIG to pay off his old friends at Goldman Sachs, which was totally a great idea! And Paul Giamatti plays current Fed chairman Ben Bernaisesauce, who depending on your opinion either staved off a horrible depression or sat idly by as the nation’s banks robbed the government blind. Curtis Hanson is your director, and Curtis Hanson once directed “LA Confidential,” so the odds of him turning this seemingly dry subject into something riveting are very, very high. ANTICIPATION: ANGER!
THE BACHELORETTE – 9:00PM (ABC) Step right up, men, and try to woo the lovely Ashley Hebert, who is your new Bachelorette handmaiden. Watch as 25 guys jump out of their limos this evening and try to make a good impression with the former “Bachelor” reject. Among the contestants tonight is a dude who sings to Ashley (GAH!), a dude who has Ashley talk to his mom on speakerphone (why?), and of course a dude who gets too drunk. They always toss one wino into the mix. ANTICIPATION: SWINGLES!
THE EVENT – 9:00PM (NBC) It’s your season finale, as well as your series finale, because this show won’t be back next fall. And while I think people may have had creative issues with “The Event,” at least it had some measure of ambition. I’m not sure networks will ever bother to take a similar risk again. ANTICIPATION: SAD!
HOUSE – 8:00PM (FOX) I hate to be a prude, but should this show really be airing at 8PM? House spent last episode performing graphic surgery on himself in a bathtub (which was way cool, by the way). I’m consistently amazed at how little networks care about blood and gore and how much they care about swear words and nudity. Anyway, tonight’s your finale, with Oscar nominee Shohreh Aghdashloo in the house as your guest seizure victim. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!
50 CENT: THE ORIGIN OF ME – 9:00PM (VH1) Trace the history of 50 Cent, from the Kennedy half-dollar all the way back to the buffalo half-farthing. Or wait, it's the rap guy. Sorry. ANTICIPATION: MONEY!