Step aside, Diablo Cody. You are no longer the smartest ex-stripper in America.
Selena Valentine (totally her real name) used to dance exotically at Scores and wrote about it sorta in her self-help book How to Date an Exotic Dancer (which we didn't realize was so challenging that it required a self-help book -- isn't the answer just "throw a wad of cash at her"? shows you what we know). Anyway, blah blah, now she'll hypnotize you for $100 and teach you how to be a business genius just like her.
The NY Post (via Gawker) quotes Valentine as saying she gets "mostly business professionals" (to the tune of about three clients a day) who want help "to reach their financial goals." Could this lady be any more brilliant? She's 1) analyzed the market forces working against her (broke businessmen no longer have mad money to burn), 2) balanced this with a need her years of experience have allowed her to observe (sad businessmen are less sad in proximity to boobies), and 3) found a way to serve this niche while having it masquerade as legitimate career coaching. This may be the first time in history businessmen can claim being alone with a stripper as a tax deduction and not have to pass it off as something else. And the best part is that this spectacular coup makes us truly believe that getting business advice from her may not be such a crazy idea. Really, our hats are off to you, Selena Valentine. Bravo.