Rells Roasts State Celebs in Annual Holiday Speech - NBC New York

Rells Roasts State Celebs in Annual Holiday Speech



    Rells Roasts State Celebs in Annual Holiday Speech
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    Gov. M. Jodi Rell delivered her annual spoof holiday shopping list in an address at Middlesex Chamber.

    It appears that Gov. M. Jodi Rell's wit may be as sharp as her budget axe. Monday, the often buttoned-up Republican read her ironic holiday shopping list aimed at poking fun at a bevy of Connecticut politicos and news makers.

    Rell issues the list yearly as part of a holiday tradition and gave Monday's address to a sold-out crowd at the Middlesex County Chamber of Commerce breakfast in Cromwell, the Hartford Courant reports.

    Some of the the most interesting lines in her comic address: 

    For Sen. Chris Dodd: "One of my old scarves to cover up the big bull's-eye on the Senator's back."

    For Coach Jim “Crash” Calhoun: We found a suit of armor – with extra padding – from the basement of the Connecticut Historical Society.  He will probably need it for his next charity bike ride.

    For Linda McMahon and Rob Simmons: "From the DOT surplus lot, I picked up some chain link fence for their upcoming cage match. Let's keep it clean - no eye-gouging and no hitting below the belt."

    For UConn President Mike Hogan and UConn Board of Trustees Chair Larry McHugh: "A brand new hospital - oh, but this new hospital is made entirely of Connecticut's own Legos. Sorry guys, that's all we can afford!"

    Pablo Martinez Monsivais/AP

    For Attorney General Dick Blumenthal: "I have some old photos of the two of us through the years that I wanted to give to Dick. The problem is, these photos are all a little overexposed - but then I realized, hey, this is Dick Blumenthal we're talking about, and he's never worried about overexposure!"

    "From Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun, we were able to pick up well over 100 old decks of cards. So, knowing that in our state House of Representatives really like to play Solitaire during floor debates, this is my gift to each of them. Enjoy!"

    For Lt. Governor Mike Fedele and Secretary of the State Susan Bysiewicz: "A couple of tape measures from one of Lou's old toolboxes in Brookfield. They've both been sizing up the drapes in my office for a while now.

     Rell ended her address with a heartfelt message to the troops and a wish for peace on earth and safety.