In New York baseball these days, matters of offensive futility are relative.
The Yankees managed only six runs in their three game series with the Twins, a number that would leave the Goose Egg Kids of Queens disgusted with themselves but still alarming enough to make you wonder what it is going to take to get these high-priced palookas from the Bronx back on line.
It's not a shortage of opportunities that are doing them in either. The Yanks have had 52 at-bats with runners in scoring position over those six games, ample opportunities to put up crooked numbers, but they've only come up with nine hits.
We realize that baseball is largely a game of individual battles, but they can't seriously expect guys to find their own way home every single night of the year. Every now and then it's nice to hook a fella up with a helping hand and show him the way back to the plate.
Not all the Yankees are so averse to pitching in and doing their part. The team has split the last six games largely because their starting pitchers have done a good job at helping the feeble offensive output stand up. That didn't happen on Thursday night, however, as Javier Vazquez reverted back to the guy he was before his last three appearances.
Perhaps it was the finger he hurt during the game against the Mets or perhaps he just wasn't used to playing outdoors in Minnesota, but Vazquez was back to being the pitcher with no life on his fastball and no ability to spot his breaking pitches. The Twins crushed everything he sent their way and the final could have been a lot worse than 8-2 if not for some good fielding work in the early innings.
Combine toothless offense with meatball pitching and you get games like this, although there's reason to believe that better days are ahead.
Curtis Granderson returns to the lineup tonight and the Yankees play 13 of their next 16 games against the Indians, Orioles and Astros. Those would be the three worst teams in all of baseball and a welcome respite from a schedule that's been light on cupcakes through the first two months.
So Yankee fans can continue to be sanguine about the current state of affairs, choosing instead to focus their attention on the porcine delights offered at concession stands in the upper midwest.
Now it is time for the little Yankee piggies to find their way home in every sense of the word.