Jennifer Millman

8-Year-Old Staten Island Boy Pens Adorable ‘How to Survive 3rd Grade' Guide for Homework Assignment

What to Know

  • The boy's No. 1 tip? HAVE FUN
  • His mother says he's always been a witty, joking child, so she's not surprised what he did for the assignment
  • He hasn't gotten a grade yet, but judging by his teachers' reaction to the piece, he says he's pretty optimistic

Look good on picture day. Don't call the teacher mom or dad because you might get extra homework. Drink water so you don't pass out. And choose your groups wisely, because once you get an assignment, there's no going back. 

An 8-year-old Staten Island boy had those sage words of advice -- and more -- to offer his classmates as part of a recent school project that called for 10 tips. Christopher Bannon, inspired by Marissa Moss' Amelia's School Survival Guide, according to his mother, Melissa Barvels, opted for an illustrated tutorial on surviving third grade. 

The creative, humorous guide starts with a warning from the author: "If you do not follow my tips you will be some crazy 3rd grader." 

It then begins with a key imperative: Do not lay down in the meeting area, Trust me I have tried it is not as comfortable as it looks. 

Bannon goes on to remind his classmates their picture day photos will likely end up on magnets on their home refrigerators, so they should be sure to look the part. Don't talk inappropriately, especially after lunch -- and whatever you do, don't call your teacher mom or dad because if he or she is your mother or father, you're going to get extra homework, he says. 

Work quietly, stay hydrated and don't forget your homework or you'll likely be without video games for a week, Bannon cautions. 

But the No. 1 item on his list is most crucial: HAVE FUN. 

Bannon told Babble, which first reported on the adorable assignment, he had fun making the tips for other kids. 

“It made me feel good when the kids in my class said I should be an author!" he told the website. "It also made me feel good when I was done sharing my work and my classmates gave me a huge round of applause.” 

Bannon, whose favorite classes are writing and math, said he hasn't gotten a grade on his project yet, but his teachers were laughing as he presented it, so he's optimistic. 

His mother says Bannon has always been a witty, joking kid. Plus, he's pretty darn cute. 

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