Learning to laugh again is easier said than done.
In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Tracy Morgan reflected on the crash that nearly claimed his life. The recovery process was arduous. "I said, 'If my funny ever went away, I'd die.' And I thought I was going to die for a long time. My thoughts – I was in a very dark place. I was sitting right here, contemplating suicide," he revealed. "I couldn't walk."
Morgan was seriously injured in June 2014 after the bus he was riding in was struck by a truck on the New Jersey Turnpike.
Today, 47-year-old Morgan is standing tall – even if he still walks with a limp, a constant reminder of his life-altering crash. The "Saturday Night Live" and "30 Rock" vet now makes it a point to acknowledge the many things he has to live for, like his wife, Megan Wollover, 29, their daughter, Maven Morgan, 2, and his three kids from a previous marriage.
Morgan also remains convinced that he visited the afterlife while in a coma, and while there, he claims to have seen his late father, Jimmy Morgan, who died of AIDS in 1987. Morgan joked that he avoided heaven's white light because he "thought it was the police." In all seriousness, he believes his dad is responsible for sending him back to Earth. "He was the one who said, 'Go home, son. I ain't ready for you yet.' I don't think I cheated death. I think this was the plan," Morgan explained. "My room wasn't ready."
According to the comedian, "I still have s--t here to do. It's gonna take more than 18 wheels for me to get out of here. I have to raise my girl, raise my wife, raise my family. Gotta keep my octopus alive. Gotta keep my sharks alive. Those are God's creatures! I'm needed!"
Morgan claimed he returned from the afterlife "bearing gifts" from the comedy gods. "Maybe when I was in heaven, Richard Pryor said something to me," he said. "I feel funnier than I ever felt."
Jokes aside, Morgan's road to recovery is far from over. The comic admitted that he suffers from survivor's guilt because his mentor, James NcNair, died in the same crash. "Emotionally, it's hard for me to deal with," said Morgan, who sees a psychiatrist. "I asked everybody to be there that night. I have to live with that. But I had to forgive myself. I know Jimmy would want it like that." Dealing with that grief made his recovery process even harder. "A doctor said, 'The two biggest accidents in the world was yours and Princess Diana.' Think about it. That's heavy s--t."