Each Friday throughout the season, I'll provide you with my predictions on whose stock is on the rise and whose is failing miserably like an American bank. It's a neat little segment entitled Buys and Sells. There are a few teams/players/issues to buy and a few to sell.
If you're reading Buys and Sells, that probably means it's Friday. Good times for all of us. And even better that it's almost Thanksgiving; I see a long holiday weekend in your future.
But for now we've got some fake hockey stock valuations to get to. Trust me, unlike the real economy, the hockey economy is doing just fine.
Sell: Do Not Step On Pittsburgh's Carpeting. I seriously can't believe I'm even talking about this. We went through this in the playoffs in Ottawa two seasons ago, and now we're doing it again in Pittsburgh. Wild beat reporter John Shipley stepped on the Penguin logo on the carpet of the Pens' locker room. Jeez. You'd think by their reaction he, you know, caused harm to someone.
So I'm in the Penguins locker room, which is about the size of a port-a-potty, and get chastised for stepping on the logo in the carpet.
Some equipment guy or PR flak comes up to me and says, "Can you please not step on the Penguin?"
Well, if it's alive I'll try not to step on the penguin.
Seriously? What is this, a field trip to Monticello or Mount Vernon? There's a reason people don't put the American flag on their carpeting. It's because you're not supposed to step on it. Why a team would spend the money to get nice carpeting and then, you know, not use it is beyond me. It's like going to Grandma's house where all the fifty year old furniture is still wrapped in plastic. What, exactly, are we saving it for?
Now I know this can be seen as disrespect, but please. If you don't want people using the nice China plates, don't set the table with them. If you don't want people stepping on your nice, new carpet, cover it up.
However, I can certainly understand that when you enter into someone else's house, you have to respect their rules. Totally understandable. I can also understand that hockey has some wacky traditions that have absolutely no effect on whether a team wins or loses. Fair enough. But honestly, let's all get past the whole Kindergarten "step on a crack break your mother's back" fairy tale. It's a carpet. We're talking about sports. SPORTS. Get over it.
Sell: The Town of Hempstead, New York. Shame on the Town of Hempstead. Nassau County, the county the New York Islanders reside in, approved a plan to renovate the Nassau Coliseum and develop the surrounding lands spearheaded by Isles owner Charles Wang. If you've ever stood outside the Coliseum, you know that all that surrounds you for a good half a mile is gray concrete. It's really the biggest eyesore this side of, well, there's not really anything worse.
The Town of Hempstead and Supervisor Kate Murray have not said a word on the subject since the county passed the project on to them for approval months ago. Glad to see this is how things are on Long Island now. The local politics are so bad, we can't even address issues anymore. Say you hate the project Ms. Murray, even that would be a step in the right direction.
And now, to end Buys and Sells on a positive note...
Buy: TML Fan Fiction. I'm always a fan of a well-done piece of hockey blogging fiction. Today's tip of the cap goes to Loser Domi and her dive into the realm of Toronto Maple Leafs Team Chat Room fan fiction. LD, it's for lines like this that I salute you today...
I_Ron_Butterfly: OK *****ES I GOT AN IDEA OF HOW TO CREATE A BETTER CULTURE FOR OUR TEAM. I GOT THIS CHORE JAR HERE NOW ALL YOU GUYS TAKE ONE PIECE OF PAPER AND THAT'S YOUR CHORE FOR THE NEXT GAME.
Buys and Sells: The Don't Step on the Carpet in Pittsburgh Edition originally appeared on NHL FanHouse on Fri, 21 Nov 2008 08:50:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.