Actor and comedian Seth Rogen took to the stage as host of "Saturday Night Live" for the third time and insisted he doesn't need famous friends to help him with the gig.
Rogen, 31, kicked off the monologue saying, he couldn't remember the first time he hosted the show at the age of 23 because he was too excited. He said this time he decided to write about his experience.
"Monday. 5 p.m. Meeting with all the writers," Rogen read from his journal. "So many new people. This is great. Just got pitched about 50 ideas about weed."
Rogen, who has played stoners in a number of movies, most famously in 2008's "Pineapple Express," and even received High Times' Stoner of the Year award in 2007 continued: "4:19 a.m. Drawing a blank. Can't think of any ideas. This is hard. Smell something funky coming from one of the writer's offices," he said in a joke about 4:20, observed by marijuana smokers as a time to toke.
"4:21 a.m. Suddenly I have so many ideas. I don't remember writing any of this stuff. Looks like I wrote the word pizza 400 times."
After rehearsals on Wednesday, Rogen said he didn't feel like he did a good job so he decided to prank his friend James Franco to make himself feel better.
"I posed as a girl on Instagram," he said, referencing recent controversy surrounding Franco, who admitted to flirting with a 17-year-old girl on Instagram and via text messages.
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"Told him I was way young. He seemed unfazed. I have a date to meet him at the Ace Hotel," Rogen said.
Franco, who also made a cameo in a later skit as a monster-turned-human, appeared in the monologue and complimented Rogen on his prank. He said he had been waiting at the Ace Hotel for days.
Franco wasn't the only star to pop up in the monologue. Actress Zooey Deschanel and country musician Taylor Swift also made brief cameos.
Drugs came up again in Rogen's first skit, where he played a D.A.R.E. officer named Kellogg assigned to speak to a class about substance abuse in a new installment of the reoccurring Shallon (Nasim Pedrad) sketch.
Shallon misinterpreted Kellogg's advice to avoid drugs after he said that getting high will make her feel like she does after getting an "A" on a spelling test.
"I finished my timetables, I get to unwind with a half-hour of TV and a little bit of crack," said Shallon, much to Kellogg's chagrin.
Rogen appeared in another pot-themed sketch with a stoner (Kyle Mooney) called a "Very Smoky 420." The stoner started off the sketch with a background of the 420 (April 20) day that celebrates marijuana. He then sang along to "munchie melodies."
The stoner's dealer Scott Maher (Rogen) eventually showed up.
"So tell me, what kind of greenie, beanie, meanie, jimmie nuggies'a rollie jays do you got, dude," asked the stoner.
"Look dude, here's what I got. I got weed, weed, more weed, and guess what, more weed. You want any of that," asked Maher.
The stoner continued to speak mumbo jumbo much to the confusion of Maher, who's surprised when the stoner says he doesn't smoke marijuana. The two ended the sketch with a singalong of, "Bing Bong Rollie Jays, Take Me to Your Dealer."
The "Weekend Update" poked fun at AMC's "Mad Men," outgoing Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.
But the focus was on David Ortiz, who was criticized last week after he took a selfie with President Obama during a Red Sox visit to the White House. It turned out Ortiz is Samsung's "MLB social media insider" and that the selfie was an endorsement stunt to promote the company—a fact unbeknown to the White House.
Colin Jost interviewed Ortiz (Kenan Thompson), who often answered in incoherent Spanglish and confused "Sam's son" for "Samsung." When Jost asked Ortiz if he intentionally took the photo with the president for Samsung, Ortiz said he didn't know there was anything wrong with it.
"It's a problem? I don't know. I talked to Sam's son. I talked to Sam. They tell me it's no problem," Ortiz said.
Ortiz then began to digress, showing concern about the size of the Samsung Galaxy.
"Is that a television or a phone? Samsung Galaxy. If it can't fit into my pants, that's a problem," he said.
He went on to say that Samsung gave him 100,000 chickens to endorse the company. He also said he does endorsements for antidepressants and told Jost his slogan.
"Do you suffer from depression. Don't," he said.
"What's that an ad for," asked Jost.
"Not to be sad. Why you be sad? Don't," replied Ortiz.
Ortiz said he'd send Obama a bunch of Dominican food to make up for offending him with the Samsung selfie.
Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson), whose role as a confidential informant for the FBI during the 1980s resurfaced last week, was "Undercover Sharpton" in a blaxploitation-esque skit. After getting a wired briefcase from two FBI agents, Sharpton approached two mob men (Seth Rogen and Bobby Moynihan) in a restaurant.
"Is there any room on this here table for my abnormally heavy briefcase," asked Sharpton before sitting down with the men, who are looking to sell him cocaine.
After Sharpton began to ask the men overtly suspicious questions like if they have any identifiable tattoos, they demanded to know if he's wearing a wire.
"Ok, now I'm wondering if I'm finished with my chores there, Mr. Briefcase," said Sharpton anxiously into his bag, seconds before the FBI rushed in to arrest the men. They then informed Sharpton that he took the wrong briefcase and that the one he is holding is filled with caramel corn and demo tapes, alluding to his time in the music industry.
The musical guest Ed Sheeran performed "Don't" and "Sing."
SNL will return on May 3 with host Andrew Garfield and musical guest Coldplay.
