Somewhere, in some daisy-filled meadow, Golden Retrievers and Boston Terriers and French Bulldogs and Whippets and Airedales all run free, and leap, and lick, and go wherever they want, whenever they want.
Squat away, sweeties. Squat away.
In most cities, though, patches of grass line city sidewalks. There are no daisy-filled meadow, and every dog owner has a responsibility to pick up after Georgie or Rascal or Tigger. But pooch-lovers can take inspiration from the aPaws annual Pooper Scooper Convention and Turd Herding Contest, which is headed for Nashville in October.
We'll pause. You're cracking a smile, probably, because "pooper" and "scooper" are two funny words, and said together, hilarious. Like, side-splitting. And then it is what a pooper scooper does. What? We're not above laughing.
But the laughing slowly dies down when you remember that one neighbor who never, ever leaves the house with a scooper, or baggie, or device that airlifts woofer waste into the nearest receptacle. How many hairy eyeballs can dog owners give each other on the streets of our fair city? Answer: many.
Dear dogs everywhere: We're not mad at you. You know that.
So while we won't make the Oct. 16-18 convention in Tennessee, we hope this shines as a beacon to pup buffs everywhere. A humorous reminder. And a respect for the Association of Professional Animal Waste Specialists. We must admit that, prior to today, we did not know this organization existed. But, aPaws, you have our admiration. Scoop on!