Joe Jonas isn't holding anything back.
In an essay for New York magazine titled "Joe Jonas: My Life as a Jonas Brother," the singer covers a lot of ground when it comes to everything from relationships to smoking weed to working for Disney to, of course, the eventual end of the Jonas Brothers.
Here is a roundup of the highlights:
Fame at an Early Age: "We didn't want to disappoint anyone--our parents, our fans, our employers--so we put incredible pressure on ourselves, the kind of pressure that no teenager should be under. We were just kids. That's the reality. We were frightened little kids. So you got all this responsibility that's foisted upon you and you're expected to be perfect. I went through media training, and I hated it."
The Mouse House: "Disney is great at creating fame...[but] being a part of a company like that comes with certain expectations. Not overtly, but there was a subtle vibe. We were working with Disney in 2007 when the Vanessa Hudgens nude-photo scandal happened. We heard that she had to be in the Disney offices for a whole day because they were trying to figure out how to keep her on lockdown."
Bauble Brouhaha: "The topic that dominated news coverage of us for a long time was the whole promise-ring thing. We couldn't escape it...Because of our age, because of Disney, because of those rings, there were so many things throughout our career that we had to sugarcoat. If a lyric was slightly sexual, someone at the record company would tell us we had to change it."
Off With the Rings: "I lost my virginity when I was 20. I did other stuff before then, but I was sexually active at 20. I'm glad I waited for the right person, because you look back and you go, 'That girl was bats--t crazy. I'm glad I didn't go there."
Dating Demi: "One relationship that meant a lot to fans was the one I had with Demi Lovato, who I've known for years...I really got to know her and got to see the ins and outs of what she was struggling with, like drug abuse. I felt I needed to take care of her, but at the same time I was living a lie, because I wasn't happy but felt like I had to stay in it for her, because she needed help. I couldn't express any of that, of course, because I had a brand to protect."
Getting High With Hanna Montana: "The first time I smoked weed was with Demi and Miley [Cyrus]. I must have been 17 or 18. They kept saying, 'Try it! Try it!' so I gave it a shot, and it was all right. I don't even smoke weed that often anymore."
Friendly With Fans: "Yes, I've dated fans. I can't say that I've never put a foot in that world; there were times when I definitely took advantage of the opportunities I had. I remember I invited a fan to a movie, and we just made out the entire time. I don't even remember what the movie was about. I must have been 16 or so. Afterward, I was kind of freaking out, because I thought she'd go public and the whole world would find out. Luckily, she never did, I think because she assumed there'd be another meet-up down the road."
Brotherly Love: "There were days when I wanted to give up sometimes. When it all felt too overwhelming and exhausting. But my brothers helped me get through a lot...I can relate to both really well. Nick and I are athletic, we bond over sports. Kevin and I are were always close, but we don't see each other as much since he got married."
The Big Breakup: "[It] was going on for a lot longer than a lot of people thought. We hit a place where we just weren't jelling on the same things, and we didn't want to become a band that was worried about the fact that people didn't understand how cool we were. The whole situation was breaking us up as a family, and we ultimately felt like we were holding each other back.
"Things came to a head when we had a meeting where we thought we were going to talk about how to release our new music and it ended up shifting into this huge fight. That was the first time we were really honest with one another about a lot of stuff we weren't happy with. The fight got loud. I was screaming. When Nick presented the idea of closing a chapter and moving on, I freaked out. I didn't know whether to pick up and leave or just punch something, because I was furious. I'd spent so long working with my brothers on this band, and in my mind, it felt like we were just giving up. It didn't make sense to me.
"But once I started peeling back the layers, I understood. There were a lot of dysfunctional things going on...After that meeting, we took a night to think about things, met again, and nothing was resolved, so we decided to take a week and think about it. Then we canceled the tour. It would have been really tough for me to go on a last-hurrah tour. I didn't care about the money; I just wanted to figure out the right, healthy way for us to be good as a family."