Who Can Replace Charlie? Our "Two and Half Men" Easy Fix

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Who Can Replace Charlie Sheen?

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With all the uproar around Charlie Sheen's rant against the Chuck Lorre, the creator of "Two and a Half Men," and the subsequent shut down of the sitcom's production, we got to thinking: There's an easy fix here, guys.

Charlie plays, what? A good-looking, womanizing man-child who refuses to grow up and is always quick with a smarmy comeback, right? Let's be honest, this isn't exactly a hard role to re-fill. Just go ahead, give Sheen the walking papers he so desperately seems to want, and move ahead without missing a beat. How? By hiring any one of these guys, each one bringing a similar brand of gnarlyism.

 

RICHARD GRIECO

If not for a few career missteps early on, Grieco could have been Charlie Sheen. Or Johnny Depp for that matter ("Booker" anyone?). So why not give this man another shot? He brings the same kind of greasy charm that Sheen does, and he'll likely do it for a fraction of the paycheck.

 

SCOTT BAIO

He's sitcom image is squeaky clean ("Joanie Loves Chachi," "Charles in Charge") but everyone knows that Baio has been in more starlet bedrooms than Diptyque Candles. The list of his conquests reads like a Playboy grotto party guest list: Pamela Anderson, Nicole Eggert (Charles was, it seems, very much in charge), Heather Locklear, Brooke Shields and....fittingly...Sheens ex-wife Denise Richards. 

 

JOHN STAMOS

Although he doesn't ooze sleaze the way Sheen does, Stamos could convincingly play the ladies' man and he's solid with the one-liners. However, just mentioning Stamos makes us think of perhaps an even better replacement...

 

BOB SAGET

Now stay with us. Anyone who has seen Sagat's stand-up knows he's filthy - not the clean-cut dad from "Full House" or the cheeseball host of "America's Funniest Home Videos." No, he gets raw. And he may not be a stud, but tell us he doesn't look more like he could be Jon Cryer's brother than Sheen. Right? 

DAVID ARQUETTE

Almost too perfect. The same manic energy, the same goofy charm, and the same partyboy persona. In fact, we're not entirely convinced he and Sheen are two different people. Have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time? It could be a Superman/Clark Kent thing, only except the disguise is a goatee instead of glasses.

 

TED McGINLEY

Because, let's face it, "Two and a Half Men" is just about to run its course, so why not just admit as much and hire the Sitcom Grim Reaper? "Happy Days," "The Love Boat," "Married...With Children" - If McGinley joins your cast late in your show's run, it's the sitcom equivalent of Euthanasia. The man equals show death, plain and simple. But at least he does it with a smile.

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