Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and apologize to the President for criticizing him in Rolling Stone magazine. You don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like anyone actually READS that magazine, do they? LET’S GO!
MICHAEL JACKSON AND BUBBLES, THE UNTOLD STORY – 10:00PM (Animal Planet) Yep, it’s exactly what you think it is: An in-depth look at the King Of Pop’s relationship with his chimpanzee and presumed wet nurse. I dare you not to watch. ANTICIPATION: BANANAS!
MEMPHIS BEAT – 10:00PM (TNT) After the end of “My Name Is Earl,” Jason Lee returns to series TV in this cop show. This cop show, you see, isn’t like other cop shows. It’s in MEMPHIS. And that means you get lots of head-bustin’, but you also get Elvis references, a bluesy soundtrack, and characters eating mouth-watering smoked ribs. Also, Memphis is really hot, and sometimes the pimps there end up being pretty good rappers. So it’s got all that going for it. ANTICIPATION: ALERT MARC COHN!
DOWNFALL – 9:01PM (ABC) At long last, the game show set on a building has arrived! Oh yes, people. It’s just like any other game show, only with ELEVATION. Tell me you aren’t thrilled. Your host is WWE superstar Chris Jericho. No word on if any Jerichoholics will be also placed atop the building. Now, I’m not saying I’m going to tune in to see if the cables snap by accident and someone goes plunging to their death, but: ANTICIPATION: CONTROLLED PLUNGES!
WHO REALLY DISCOVERED AMERICA? – 8:00PM (History Channel) This will shock you, but it appears Christopher Columbus may NOT have been the first person to discover the American continent. I know. You’re shocked, particularly if you never received an education past the junior kindergarten level. But it’s true! It appears the Vikings may have gotten there first. And perhaps the millions of indigenous American people already living on the continent. Tonight, you will learn the first of those people to step foot on our home soil. Surprisingly, the guy’s name was Stan. ANTICIPATION: HISTORY DEBUNKED!
BASKETBALL WIVES, REUNION SPECIAL – 10:00PM (VH1) It’s a look back at the season that was for this group of women who know they’re husbands are cheating on them and are okay with it so long as there’s still an infinity pool included in the deal. By the way, did you know Bravo’s “Real Housewives” show just had a season reunion in THREE parts? Three parts! Milk Bethenny any more than that, and you could feed a day care center for weeks. ANTICIPATION: FIGHTIN’!