Here are five questions for New Orleans Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey. Please pass them along should someone happen to see him:
Hello, Mr. Shockey. Thank you so much for taking some time out of your non-football playing day for us. We'll get right into the questions:
1. Our current tight end -- your former backup -- Kevin Boss has six touchdowns, and you have zero touchdowns. Actually we should be more specific: Kevin Boss received 6 of Eli Manning's 21 touchdowns, Jeremy Shockey received 0 of 34 touchdowns thrown by Drew Brees. That is an amazing feat of ineptitude, how did you manage to pull that off?
2. During your time in New York players, coaches, and pundits alike extolled your virtues as a run-blocker. They would say, not only is Shockey a weapon offensively (c.f. 0 TD), but he could block the River Nile if you need it. Kevin Boss showed he could catch the ball last season, but the concern at the start of the season was about him blocking. So now that the Giants posted two 1000-yard rushers, and have the most dominant running game in the league, could you talk a little about what that implies about your value/impact as a run-blocker? Does it underscore your importance or diminish it?
3. Not to belabor this point, but seriously, your team scored the most points in the league. You quarterback Drew Brees was the AP Offensive Player of the Year; he threw 34 touchdowns to eleven different Saints this year. You couldn't catch one? Sean Payton was willing to sacrifice a relative to acquire you. He loves you. But he couldn't find a way to get you in the endzone? Can you please explain one more time, for the people, how you managed to pull off this miracle of failure?
4. How did you feel about the devastating misfortune of losing both of your fumbles this season? Now we know everyone in the NFL fumbles -- well not everyone, but the players prone to turning the ball over fumble quite a bit -- but many players recover their own fumbles. You had the horrible luck to lose both of yours, resulting in turnovers for your team. Did that weigh on you at all over the course of a season? (Note: it's only two fumbles, and i'd write it off as nothing, except that it's two more fumbles than Mr. Shockey had touchdowns. Also two more fumbles than Kevin Boss had.)
5. Ok, final question; I know you have to get back to watching tv. But between the Giants tight end scoring more, and the improved rushing attack, and the lack of media drama in a year with too much off-field drama, oh, and the receiving of a 2nd round and 5th round pick for your "services", such as you call them. Do you think the New York Giants have any regrets for trading you this year?
Take your time with the questions. Maybe we can email while watching the Giants play this Sunday.