Welcome to Hero, Nero, Zero, where we highlight the triumphs, insanity and ineptitude associated with Thursday night’s Giants-Redskins game. Disagree with our badges? Drop us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Hero: Ben McAdoo
I love Wikipedia. Not because it’s a trusted source, but because of the random factoids you’ll find interspersed in entries. During Thursday night's Giants game, when Eli Manning, Larry Donnell and Co. were defenestrating the entire Washington team, a discussion broke out in my living room about who was the MVP of the game.
With five touchdowns (four passing, one running) Manning seemed like a good candidate. So, too, was Donnell with his three touchdown catches. But after hearing all preseason about the Giants’ woes in implementing the new West Coast offense, a blowout win seemed like a good time to read up on new Giants offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo, architect of the new system.
Wikipedia hits the most salient points:
“Ben McAdoo is an American football coach, who is currently the offensive coordinator for the New York Giants. He was hired on January 14, 2014. Previously, he spent eight seasons with the Green Bay Packers as a Tight Ends Coach for six years and Quarterbacks Coach for two years, and previously worked under Green Bay Head Coach Mike McCarthy in 2004 with the New Orleans Saints and in 2005 with the San Francisco 49ers. He has also served as a coach at five colleges since 2001. McAdoo is of Scottish descent.”
So the next time you’re watching someone try to run the West Coast offense, remember what Mike Myers liked to say: “If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap.”
Nero: Jeter haters
As this is the social media age, you can’t simply watch a sporting event on television without also looking at Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, Vine and numerous blogs. Well, you could, but then you’d miss out on the river of comments -- from the smart to the funny, from the weird to the "Yeah, you’re getting a visit from DCF, my friend" -- that flow along in real time as Kirk Cousins is throwing another interception or Eli Manning is finding Larry Donnell (but not Victor Cruz!) for another touchdown.
As I watched the game, one of my friends on Facebook wrote a helpful post to remind me that Derek Jeter was playing his last game at Yankee Stadium.
“Brett Gardner strikeout and then Jeter grounds into a double play, tearing his Achilles. Please god now.”
This merited an inquiry, so I asked, “Why? So that he misses the Yankees’ postseason?”
“No,” he responded. “So that all the Jeter worship stops.”
Needless to say (and unable to be printed) was his sane reaction when Jeter won the game with a walkoff single in the bottom of the 9th inning.
Zero: Phil Simms
Late in last night’s blowout loss to the Giants, Cousins had the temerity to keep hiking the ball and trying to score, the kind of cockeyed thinking that Phil Simms, a former quarterback, could not abide.
Right after Cousins threw his fourth interception with 11:45 left in the fourth quarter, Simms made a comment that made zero sense: “You’re not gonna win the game, so don’t make it worse by taking chances with the football.”
There was nearly 12 minutes left in the game, the Redskins were down by 24 points, and Phil Simms wanted them to stop trying because, gosh darn it, you’re embarrassing yourselves.
Cameron Martin writes about the Giants for NBCNewYork.com. Martin has written for The New York Times, ESPN.com, The Atlantic, CBS Sports and other publications.