David Vitter is the proud Louisiana senator who made the very difficult but noble decision to admit several years ago that his number had ended up on a certain DC madam's phone list; who knows how? He was allowed to keep his Senate seat because what married man, in a moment of weakness, has not somehow allowed his phone number to fall into the possession of a lady who happens to run a prostitution ring?
Vitter has not tired in his quest to bring honor and renown to the state of Louisiana, most recently by throwing tantrums on the Senate floor and blaming the entire economic meltdown on ACORN. And just a few weeks ago, he showed characteristic sass and can-do spirit when he arrived at the airport late for a flight back to New Orleans and angrily threw open the door to the jetway to his departing plane after exchanging some choice words with the gate agent.
In a single bold move, Vitter channeled the collective rage of millions of Americans who have arrived just a few minutes late for their flight and been turned away even though the plane just sits there on the runway, taunting them. But whereas a normal citizen would be spoken to very sternly by airport personnel and maybe even arrested for appearing to attempt to hijack a flight, Vitter has now been cleared of all wrongdoing by the TSA. They conducted an internal review and concluded that he hadn't entered a restricted area of the airport, so all was forgiven.
This is wonderful news. It means that the next time you show up at the gate and a dull-eyed agent barks at you, "FLIGHT'S CLOSED," you just open up that door behind the gate, the one that leads down the ramp to the plane, and "pull a Vitter." Maybe you can even be a senator someday, too!