Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and get on a plane to Minneapolis to rejoin the Minnesota Vikings. Or are you just there to fish? No one can know for sure. LET’S GO!
MELISSA AND JOEY – 8:00PM (ABC Family) It’s a new cable sitcom featuring former lovable child stars Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence, who I swear looks juts like Bret Michaels if Bret ever took that bandanna off his head. Melissa plays a mom. Joey plays her male nanny. Hijinks ensue. Regardless of how this sitcom turns out, I’ll still always remember Joey as the little boy who shocked Nell Carter by donning blackface on “Gimme A Break”. What six-year-old in the 1980’s knew who Al Jolson was? That always baffled me. ANTICIPATION: NOSTALGIA-EY!
BIG LAKE – 10:00PM (Comedy Central) Two former longtime SNL cast members headline this new Comedy Central sitcom. Horatio Sanz is all skinny now, though I don’t know if that will impact his ability to ruin a scene by cracking up with laughter. Chris Parnell is also on board. The premise revolves around a Wall Street banker who is forced to move back in with his parents. Really? That’s the premise? Hmm, where have I seen this premise before? Oh, that’s right. ON EVERY SITCOM EVER MADE. “Heat Vision And Jack” can never make it to the air, yet year after year networks take the move-back-in premise and somehow promise you it’ll be new. No, no. This time, the parents live IN SPACE! ANTICIPATION: CHORTLY!
REAL SPORTS – 10:00PM (HBO) Bernard Goldberg takes a moment away from grinding axes with dirty liberals to interview the Salahis (the White House party crashers) about their phony baloney charity polo matches. I don’t know which has less to do with sports: the Salahis, or polo. ANTICIPATION: LOSERS!
IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME – 11:00PM (MTV) MTV’s high school series looks to ease tensions between high school cliques by having them sit down together and, like getting to know one another. This time, it’s a group of bullies at Colusa High in California coming face to face with their victims. Tears will be shed. Confessions made. Lessons learned. Let’s hope Dr. Drew doesn’t come along to screw it all up. ANTICIPATION: THIS IS WHAT IS SOUNDS LIKE WHEN DOVES CRY!
GROWING UP TWISTED – 10:00PM (A&E) Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider wants to take his kid to a Bikers for Babies Charity event. Hey, bikers need babies. Everyone knows that. ANTICIPATION: YOU ARE GONNA TAKE IT!