This common mindset can ruin your professional relationships—how to avoid it
When a co-worker gets a promotion or praise at a staff meeting, what feelings arise? If it's anxiety or jealousy, you might suffer from a zero-sum bias, says Amanda Montell, author of the new book "The Age of Magical Overthinking."
Zero-sum bias, or zero-sum thinking, refers to the mistaken belief that another person's gain is your loss.
This, Montell says, can cause a strain in your relationships and feed negative thoughts regarding your worth.
"Another person's light doesn't have to inherently dim you," she says.
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To curb sentiments of envy, Montell suggests befriending a person whose success you find aspirational.
"Make a connection rather than an enemy," she says. "It ends up alleviating so much suffering."
'I'll slide into her DMs'
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In the past, Monetell says she might have compulsively Google searched a peer who she found impressive.
"Now, when I come across a woman who intimidates me I try to push past those thoughts," she says. "Instead of writing her off as an enemy, I'll slide into her DMs and express a sincere sentiment of admiration."
Most people are receptive, she says: "Almost always I will get a response back that is like, 'Oh my god, thanks so much.'"
Reaching out can help you avoid zero-sum thinking.
It can also can help you network, Keita Williams, the founder of career coaching company Success Bully, told CNBC Make It.
"I literally have time on my calendar on Fridays where I send out random texts or emails of encouragement," Williams says. "It has worked wonders for me throughout my career."
Opportunities are often given to those who are top-of-mind.
"Sometimes [your note] lands and you're in the right place at the right time," Williams says. "Someone has said to me, 'Oh my goodness Keita I'm hosting this panel and would like you to facilitate this workshop. Do you have time?'"
Now, a person whose status you envied can become a resource.
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