Posh lingerie label Agent Provocateur has long been revered for their steamy, not-appropriate-for-office-viewing press campaigns—last year's images of Maggie Gyllenhaal were particularly steamy—and this month they unveiled their latest masterwork: a veritable choose-your-own-adventure cinema starring ... hottie pirates! Just in time for the holidays, right? Indeed the opening sequence of lingerie-clad swashbucklers centers around a feast for which any red-blooded male (or female!) would be thankful. But then, who's this pirate queen, robbing the ship of its, er, booty? Surprise! It's Helena Christensen, clad in hot red lace. Even though she's years from the half-naked romping she did in Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game," we must admit she still looks absolutely stunning—though, alas, not much of a swordfighter.