HEART HEALTHY: Indie-darling band The Pains of Being Pure at Heart bring their melancholy pop tunes to Bowery Ballroom, where they'll likely marvel at the fact that they used to play gigs for an audience of eight of their friends for free beer. 8PM.
BEAMERS: In a strong contender for Most Niche Event of the Week, notable Trekkers -- including John "Bones" Rodriguez, who wrote Captain Kirk's Guide to Women, just in case you thought you were in the presence of amateurs -- congregate at the Paley Center to argue who was the best sci-fi captain of all time. It's the Star Trek Smackdown, of course. 6:30PM.
JANE ADDICTION: It's parasols and bon mots for miles as Austen fans descend on the Mount Vernon Hotel Museum to hear Elsa Solender, former prez of the Jane Austen Society of North America (what, they couldn't afford the current president?) talk about the author's indubitable awesomeness. The Essential Jane Austen starts at 6PM.