D IS FOR DRUNK: Do you know that prolific airport-fiction author Tom Robbins wrote a book for kids? Did you know it's called B is for Beer? Yep. And Robbins is doing it for the children, because "as a topic for detailed family discussion, it's generally as taboo as sex," he told Amazon. He'll read and sign the book at Barnes & Noble Union Square. Bring the kids! 7PM.
THE MACHINIST: So yes, Lou Reed wrote a sort of beatish poetry freestyle amalgam in the '70s, and it was called Metal Machine Music, and it's the inspiration for Lou Reed's Metal Machine Trio, which takes the stage at the Blender tonight. But don't expect any "singing" or playing of "songs" -- the Voice quotes the man himself as promising "a night of deep noise." 8:30PM.
WHITE NIGHTS: Jim Jarmusch had white hair long before David Byrne, and remains about twice as cool, which is a major feat. The Museum of the Moving Image hosts a night of hanging out with Jarmusch while he shows scenes from his oeuvre and chats about them. See? Cool. Cantor Film Center, 8PM.