Admittedly, your Vulture editors are no Nate Silver -- but that doesn't mean we can't prognosticate! Using the events of this week, what can we divine about the future?
Bets Safer Than a Slumdog Sweep:
-- If this year's Oscar nominees take our advice, they'll be richer, happier, and twice as likely to be nominated next year.
-- The Oscar red carpet will be overrun with adorable slumdogs.
-- The Roots will succumb to exhaustion.
-- Ebert and Roeper will save televised film criticism.
-- Interscope will receive an angry phone call from Bono.
-- Americans will be horrified by Sam Mendes's penis balloons.
-- M.I.A. will perform horizontally on Sunday night.
-- Mickey Rourke will ditch his date the minute the Oscars are over.
Bets As Unlikely As a Frost/Nixon Upset:
- Filmmaker Kurt Kuenne Punches Your Stub
- We Have to Go Back! (To the Phone Booth, That Is)
- Vulture’s Oscar Predictions: the Other Categories