Poor Gwyneth Paltrow. It seems she can't hit "send" on a single issue of her GOOP newsletter without drawing the ire of someone from somewhere who instantly lambasts her advice for "nourishing the inner aspect" (we're still taking suggestions about what this tagline may mean, by the way. Please post your best guesses in the comments section).
Take this week's edition, in which Paltrow GOOPs her favorite New York City restaurants. We were going to be all demure and restrained, and simply note how three of the eateries on Gwyneth's list belong to her BFF and business partner Mario Batali (and that this is, somehow, never mentioned in the newsletter). But reporter Tracy Connor is a braver woman than we are, because she noticed that not a single one of Paltrow's faves is in Brooklyn (Connor's native borough, so she's naturally a little hairtrigger about the omission), and she's having none of it.
In a ferocious New York Daily News tirade, Connor tells Paltrow that "New York doesn't start at the Bowery and end at Barney Greengrass," notes that "getting a table [at Babbo, a Paltrow favorite] is harder than watching 'Shallow Hal' a second time" (ouch), and points out that some of Brooklyn's most delicious cheap eats are "served from a truck - kind of like craft service, Gwyneth" (double ouch). And then, for dessert, she suggests the Oscar winner swing by "Junior's for a slab of cheesecake…[but] I don't think her colon can handle it."
Dude, did you just insult Gwyneth Paltrow's colon? We say again: Ouch.