We're a little more than a week away from tax day and your best friend, a rabid Yankee fan, comes and asks you where he should go to get some help preparing his return. In years past you'd be at a loss for a good answer, but now you're able to come to his or her rescue.
"Just go to H&R Block, my friend, for they are the official tax preperation company of your beloved New York Yankees."
And there's no reason to stop there. Darren Rovell of CNBC has compiled a list of all the official sponsors for both New York ballclubs and it would be very easy to live your whole life using products and companies that are in business with your favorite team.
Yankee fans looking for a car can buy an Audi, Toyota Hybrid or Ford if they are in the mood for a truck or SUV. They can outfit it with Maxxis tires and fuel it up at the latest Hess station. If they don't feel like buying one of those autos new, they can go to the Yankees' official auto classifieds on Autotrader.com to shop for something used or just rent one from Avis. That's a bit of a surprise for the Yankees, for whom being second is a waste no matter how hard you try.
They are on their own when it comes to auto insurance, although Mets fans can share their experiences with Geico if they're feeling charitable. If that goes well, Mets fans can also share their official pudding and fried dough with Yankee fans who have been left in the wilderness when it comes to selecting such items for themselves. The Mets' official party provider could set up the bash, and the Yankees fans could pay for it with their official Bank of America affinity credit card. The payment would be processed by Mastercard, though, as they are the official payment processor for the Yankees.
If all the fun gets out of hand and someone needs medical attention, the two sides will have to part ways. Yankees fans should only be going to New York Presbyterian Hospital, while Mets backers should head to the Hospital for Special Surgery where they can get x-rays from the official x-ray equipment provider of their preferred team.
Remember Mets fans, if it isn't a NY Imaging x-ray then you are taking your life into your own hands.
Josh Alper is a writer living in New York City and is a contributor to FanHouse.com and ProFootballTalk.com in addition to his duties for NBCNewYork.com.