Martin Silver has made a mint peddling low-end vodka, think plastic handles with faux-Russian names, and would like to put some of that money toward bailing out Fred Wilpon. The Mets owner lost a bundle in a Ponzi scheme and Silver wants to make sure that the team doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
The one business that's likely to be booming so long as the rest of the economy is stuck in the mud is the low-end liqour game. Given Wilpon's propensity for investing in fraudulent hedge funds, that kind of cash infusion could come in pretty handy. If Wilpon does need to sell all or some of his stake in the team, he could do worse than a Long Island native and 25-year season ticket holder.
Lest you think this is just the bold action of a concerned fan, though, Silver and Wilpon have a backstory that goes beyond the owner's recent financial troubles. Silver was not a fan of the team's decision to part ways with manager Willie Randolph. The Daily News reports that "Silver sent Wilpon five whole chickens to express his displeasure over" Randolph's firing.
What's the message behind five whole chickens? Does it mean that Wilpon is chicken for firing Randolph? Jon Bois of Mouthpiece Sports reasons Silver spent a little bit too much time sampling his own Georgi vodka. We're all familiar with drunk dialing and it's more contemporary cousin, drunk texting.
Silver's from a different time, though, when rates made frivolous phoning prohibitive and people would drunk mail the objects of their disaffection. Usually it would just be a strongly worded letter, but the further you moved down the chain of beverage quality the more things you'd find in the mail. For example, Harry Truman once received soiled gloves and a spoiled bottle of milk after a moonshine-addled gentleman heard him speak in Abilene, Texas. Silver's just keeping an analog tradition alive in a digital world.