I waited for the inevitable "Mets fan sells his fanhood on eBay" story after the second late season collapse in a row by the team. Instead, what we got was so much better. A memorabilia dealer wanted to get rid of a spare Aaron Heilman autographed baseball on eBay, but made no pretense as to its actual value ... he just wants it out of his sight. The listing reads as such:
I paid $40 plus $7.50 shipping for this garbage from Steiner Sports and sold them for $70 when no one knew he was a loser. Now Steiner is selling it for 50% off at $39.95 just to get rid of them also. (...)
For the 1st person to buy this signed baseball- I will give you the following:
AN UNSIGNED PHOTO OF JOSE REYES
AN UNSIGNED PHOTO OF BILLY WAGNER
AN UNSIGNED PHOTO OF JOHN MAINE
ANOTHER DIFFERENT UNSIGNED PHOTO OF JOHN MAINE
STILL ANOTHER DIFFERENT UNSIGNED PHOTO OF JOHN MAINE
IF MY FAMILY LETS ME, I WILL GIVE YOU MY DOG, KIDS, AND GOLDFISH.
I WOULD GIVE YOU MY WIFE BUT THAT MEANS YOU ARE BUYING TWO THINGS THAT ARE WORTHLESS AND THEN YOU WILL REALLY HATE ME.
Aaron Heilman: Ending marriages since 2006. And yes, someone bought it. No word as to whether the winning bidder is getting a dog, some kids, and some goldfish in the deal (not to mention his wife), but he will also get to go to a Mets home game next season as part of the deal. With his luck, Heilman will blow that game too.