Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and stretch your stomach in preparation. LET’S GO!

SUPER BOWL 45 – 6:00PM Sunday (FOX) The wait is over! Well, I guess it’s not really over, since you’re reading this on a Friday and the game is still two days away. But once those two days elapse, the wait WILL HAVE BEEN over! It’s the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers in an evenly matched contest. Six of the past eleven Super Bowls have ranked among the best of all time, including the past three in a row. So keep that in mind if someone always tell you the game is a blowout, because that person is a liar and a fool. Can the NFL stage a classic title game for the fourth straight year? You’ll just have to tune in, until the Black Eyed Peas come on at halftime. Then you should tune out, then tune back in 15 minutes later. ANTICIPATION: SUPER!

GLEE – 10:30ish PM Sunday (FOX) Occupying the coveted post-Super Bowl slot this year is the musical comedy that will stop at nothing to dominate the universe. Included in this week’s batch of covers is an opening “California Gurls” stage piece with girls shooting fireworks out of their bras, because creator Ryan Murphy is pandering to you football fans. There will also be a remake of “Thriller” featuring zombies in football outfits. Make of that what you will. ANTICIPATION: GLUPER BOWL!

TITANIC II – 9:00PM Sunday (SyFy- an NBC/Universal network) Can’t stand football? Why not flip over to SyFy and enjoy this direct-to-DVD classic that isn’t a sequel but wants to fool you into thinking it is! The premise: 100 years after the first Titanic sinks, a new Titanic is built and sets out to sea. And then you’ll never guess what happens. ICEBERG. And not just one iceberg. TWO icebergs! Double the drama! I swear this is an actual movie. ANTICIPATION: HORRID!

SNL – 11:30PM Saturday (NBC) Here’s something cool: Dana Carvey is returning to host SNL this week. He’s got nothing to promote. He’s got no book to plug. He’s just there to be awesome. Few performers have fit the SNL format as well as Dana Carvey, so tune in for a most pleasant reunion. Linkin Park is the musical guest. I have nothing to say about that. ANTICIPATION: ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?

BARBARA WALTERS SPECIAL – 10:00PM Tonight (ABC) What do Bill Clinton and David Letterman have in common, apart from being horrible philanderers? OPEN HEART SURGERY. Tonight, BaBaWaWa talks to both men, along with Regis Philbin and Charlie Rose, about their experiences with have their ticker tinkered with. Not for the faint of… well, you know. ANTICIPATION: EAT WINGS ON SUNDAY!

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