U.S. to Amy Winehouse: No Visa for You!

Rest easy, America -- Homeland Security is here to keep bouffanted junkies away from your children

Nutshell: Amy Winehouse was going to play the Coachella Music Festival next month, but her "current legal issues" have landed her on the reject pile over at the Department of Homeland Security, says People magazine. (The same thing happened before the Grammys, though she was granted access at the 11th hour - too late to make arrangements to attend the ceremony. She netted five awards in absentia.)

The "legal issues" involve the incident in which Winehouse allegedly beat up an, ahem, escort in London last September. We're just speculating here, but being the poster girl for crack probably doesn't help matters.

Winehouse is in good company: Boy George is among the boldface names who've been denied access to U.S. soil in the past, and the DOH nearly forced George Michael to cancel all his recent U.S. tour dates.

Based on this logic, is Chris Brown going to be deported? If so, can Oprah be the one to take him to the airport? And can they film the whole thing?

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