Tuesday Watch List: Save The Drama For Your Baby Mama

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and clean up all your used fireworks. You’d figure an M80 would have the courtesy to blow itself completely up, but noooooo. LET’S GO!

TEEN MOM – 10:00PM (MTV) MTV’s wildly popular ode to birth control returns for another season of terrifyingly young people learning how to parent on the fly. In tonight’s premiere, Maci confronts her ex about paying his child support. And I have a strong feeling that this won’t be the last time she has to do that. Also, Amber has to choose between her baby daddy and her hawt new boyfriend. And really, is there any choice? You gotta go with the new boyfriend. The baby daddy has a kid. That’s damaged goods. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!

SWEETGRASS – 10:00PM (PBS) I always thought sheepherding was strictly the domain of small Italian men and quirky New Zealanders, but no! There are shepherds right here in America, tending to their flocks as they have for decades and decades. But they’re quickly becoming a dying breed, what with the dawn of the digital age and what not. Seems people just don’t have time anymore to drive sheep across entire states and protect them from being poached by Wile E. Coyote. Tonight, PBS profiles one such throwback, a Montana sheepherder who keeps the tradition alive. Warning: things could get a little woolly. ANTICIPATION: MUTTON!

DEADLIEST CATCH – 9:00PM (Discovery) A bait shortage on the Cornelia Marie triggers some hostilities. Know what we used for fishing bait when I was a kid? Turkey skin. It’s great bait, but if you leave it in the tackle box for a week, woe unto you and yours. ANTICIPATION: WE NEED WORMS!

CHOPPED – 10:00PM (Food Network) Your featured mystery ingredient tonight is pricky napoles, and tell me you didn’t read that as “prickly nipples.” A terrifying concept if there ever was one. ANTICIPATION: WHAT’S A NAPOLE?

HISTORY DETECTIVES – 8:00PM (PBS) Was a Ronald McDonald costume found by the detectives the same one used in the first Ronald McDonald ad campaign? Don’t leave me in suspense! I must know. ANTICIPATION: TRIVIAL!

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