One of the ways President Obama likes to enhance employment figures is by hiring armies of graphic designers to brand everything that comes within a ten-foot radius of his torso.
Thus the terribly presumptuous fake-president medallion that hung on his podium for a millionsecond during the general election campaign before the force of American scorn made it vanish into thin air. And thus the recently unveiled Recovery.gov logo.
Recovery.gov is of course the site that Obama launched to track the nation's inevitable decline into poverty and chaos. Kidding! It's the site dedicated to the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, with lots of nifty charts and graphs illustrating each and every drain into which our nation's billions are being ceaselessly poured.
A logo that captures the essence of a 1588-page, near-trillion-dollar bill must be elegant, but comprehensive; bold, but subtle; striking, but innocuous; red, but also blue. On all these points, the Recovery.gov logo succeeds.
The top half, with its beautiful white stars against a clear blue background, clearly conjures the image of the night sky -- which is to say, astronomy, which Obama's presidential foe, John McCain, finds too laughable a pursuit to merit government funding. Particularly if this hedonist practice of astronomy occurs in Hawaii, which isn't even a "real state."
In the lower left quadrant of the pie, we see a leaf of cannabis.
And in the lower right quadrant, we see -- what is that thing? Starbursts? Gears? Sea urchins? Let's think about who else uses the color red and starbursts in their logos ... OH RIGHT COMMUNISTS.
Barack Obama is a potent manipulator of symbolism, so obviously he is well aware of the many layers of meaning this simple logo conveys. In short, millions of citizens will be sent to Hawaiian gulags and forced to perform devilish acts of astronomy research as part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. As a plus, however, we will all be compensated in marijuana.
Political semaphore expert Sara K. Smith writes for NBC and Wonkette.