Monday Watch List: Yet Another Lady Gaga Thing

Harper's Bazaar

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and pay tribute to former "Spartacus" star Andy Whitfield. LET'S GO!

GAGA BY GAULTIER – 8:00PM (CW) I thought there'd be some new shows popping up on the networks tonight, but NO! No, apparently that's too much to ask. Instead, you get a few network filler specials instead, like this one. Jean Paul Gaultier, the designer best known for making Madonna's cone bra back in the 1990's (oh, the 90's), sits down with Lady Gaga for an extended chat about fashion, fame, art, meat dresses, egg chariots, and more. Nothing they say will convince me that "Born This Way" wasn't a horrible ripoff of "Express Yourself". ANTICIPATION: GAGA!

2011 MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT – 9:00PM (NBC) Coming to you from sexy Sao Paolo Brazil and hosted by Natalie Morales and Bravo's Andy Cohen. See some of the world's most beautiful women as they flit about in swimsuits and evening gowns. Winner will be bestowed a title that I think we all know is a tad presumptuous. There are three-breasted women living on Mars who weren't allowed to compete here. Are you telling me they don't deserve the title of Miss Universe any less? ANTICIPATION: SASHES!

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL – 7:00PM (ESPN) Every year, ESPN kicks off their MNF schedule with a doubleheader, which sounds like a cool idea until you find out that the two games they've scheduled are dreck. Your first game at 7PM is Pats/Dolphins, followed at 10ish by the Raiders and the Broncos. Add Jon Gruden's commentary to the mix and I'd be lying if I said I was enthused. ANTICIPATION: HANK WILLIAMS AND STUFF!

KISSINGER – 8:00PM (NatGeo - an NBC/Universal network) An extended profile of one of the most infamous Cabinet members in US Presidential history. Don't you think Kissinger would be half as famous if he didn't have that weird accent? I think so. Take away his accent. and he gets busted down to James Baker's Q rating. ANTICIPATION: HE BOMBS LAOS TWICE DURING THE INTERVIEW!

BACHELOR PAD – 9:00PM (ABC) Finale. Winners get... a quarter of a million dollars?! For what?! That's lunacy! They should get three dollars and a shot of AZT! ANTICIPATION: OVERPAID!

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