Callum Lyon MacLachlan was born Friday, June 25th, Us Weekly tells us today. The time lag between birth and reportage confirms our worst suspicions: that young Callum, the offspring of actor Kyle MacLachlan (Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives) and Desiree Gruber, is an H.F. (half-famous) child. Recently, a spate of babies have been born with this debilitating condition, one symptom of which is failure by celebrity magazines to immediately acknowledge the child's existence; a humiliation rarely — if ever — suffered by children of two celebrities. (Remember: When Angelina and Brad welcomed Vivienne and Knox Jolie-Pitt, the world was informed before their birth even happened.) However, MacLachlan's wife, Desiree Gruber, while not a celebrity as such, can be said to be Known — she runs New York public relations firm Full Picture and is the executive producer of Project Runway. Therefore, little Callum should be afforded the same advantages many full-celebrity children enjoy. Us quotes the happy father:
"I've got a little set of golf clubs all ready," MacLachlan, 48, told the New York Post earlier this year. "Just not sure if the club head covers will be pink or blue."
Wait, what? Are they going to club him? No! It's worse than what happened to the twins in Things Fall Apart. When will the cruelty end?