Battle on the Bowery Escalates at Cooper Square Hotel

Beautiful people undaunted by "drill" and "orgasm"

Today's summit between the management of The Cooper Square Hotel and its neighbors can't come soon enough.

Having failed to quiet the "d-bags" patronizing the Coop's patio bar with bullhorns, the hotel's neighbors have gotten quite creative.

"You know how annoying it is to sit at a restaurant at a table near people who talk too loud and/or like to conduct their business in front of an audience?" an alleged neighbor wrote in to Jeremiah's Vanishing New York. "Well, my whole apartment is now sitting at that lousy table. I had to close the windows, turn on the fan, and still I could hear the inanities."

What to do in such a situation?

"I tried a new tactic. There’s a CD of sounds to annoy your neighbor. I treated them to 'Orgasm' and "Drill.' At first one of the women said in a knowing way, 'oh, ok-ay then,' upon hearing the orgasm. But then they just went back to chatting endlessly about their jobs and hiring temps, etc."

As recently as September, residents of the tenement building that now cowers in the shadow of the Coop were trying to be philosophical about the situation.

“I won’t order from room service,” Hettie Jones, 74 and resident of 27 Cooper Square since 1962, told The New York Times. “But it will be nice to finally have a doorman.”

Jeremiah Moss of Vanishing New York himself foresaw just such problems in April, at the outset of what he calls "Loudmouth Weather."

"Now that it's really spring, I find myself worrying about the people who live in the building that abuts the Cooper Square Hotel. The tables and chairs have been set out on the outdoor patio. With its glass stairway to another outdoor bar, it's only feet away (in some places, mere inches) from the neighbors' windows. Their nightmare is just beginning."

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