Ray Rice Focusing on Family, Community Before Football

The room is filled with kids hovering around neatly arranged boxes of toys. Near the center is Ray Rice, at ease and surrounded by familiar faces. He shakes every hand, bumps every fist, and nods back across the room to anyone who calls out his name.

He sees the boys from New Rochelle's newly crowned national champion Pop Warner football team.

"The champs are in the house!"

Who looks more hyped for the holidays on the weekend before Christmas? You'd think it would be any of the dozens of boys and girls who have packed into the room at Steiner Sports headquarters in New Rochelle. But it could be Rice, in his red Santa hat. His wife, Janay, made sure he wore the hat – laughing at the sight of it perched on top of his head.

The couple quietly held similar toy drives back in Baltimore earlier in the month. At this point, they much prefer to keep things under-the-radar.

"The holidays will be very good this year," says Rice, after acknowledging what has otherwise been a year he wishes he could forget.

“Everything that I’ve been through, my trials and tribulations, and to see smiles on their faces – to see I can still make the kids smile -- it makes me feel good.”

But this is about much more than simply what makes Ray Rice feel good. This is about how the man who was once beloved in his hometown now works to rebuild the trust that has melted away in the aftermath of what Rice calls his one bad decision. Eleven months have passed since the moment that he would take back in a heartbeat; the argument with Janay, the swing inside the Atlantic City elevator, the loss of his dream job as running back for the Baltimore Ravens.

It’s a mistake he says he deeply regrets, but also one he quickly owns when asked.

On more occasions than he can count, Rice had warned the kids he spoke to at local schools and community events, or simply in passing, to make good decisions. And now he was face-to-face with a 10-year-old in a football jersey who listened closely as Ray spoke, pointing with both index fingers to his temples to emphasize his point.

“I’m focusing on bettering my life and my family, and making sure that these kids – when they’re old enough to understand – never go out and make the mistake that I made,” Rice said.

“In the drop of a dime I was at the top of the world and all of a sudden, it crumbled in front of me.”

Rebuilding Trust

Charity appearances have always dotted the Rice calendar. Even while living in Baltimore, Ray Rice remains a fixture in New Rochelle. And on Saturday, this toy drive event felt like any other that he has backed over the years.

Still, there were some in the room who admitted they were a little apprehensive about coming to this event. They wanted to support someone whom they considered a neighbor, but they’ve also watched and read and wondered, like the rest of the nation.

Rice said he did something horrible. And he now must convince the already-convinced that he is not a horrible person. He believes spending time interacting with people will help temper the judgments people have made.

“We get more prayers than people throwing shade at us,” he said. “It felt good to go out there into our community where we’re from and to see people who really embrace us and say, ‘We’ll forgive you.’ You really look forward to the second chance. You have to work towards it, and that’s what we’re doing now.”

He said he wanted to do more, too. He envisions becoming an advocate for those affected by domestic violence, believing that he can help anyone dealing with the kind of issues that he and Janay are still working through.

All of this is still raw and complex, but he said he understands why much of the public holds strong convictions about him.

“To become an advocate, people have to trust you. I think in due time, when people see that I’m willing to go out there and do the right thing and help out, then they’ll give me a second chance.”

Football is Secondary

Nearly an hour into the event, there is a question going around the room -- not to mention almost everywhere outside of it. When will Ray Rice return to football?

He is now a free agent, after winning his appeal against the NFL for reinstatement last month. He’s not coming back for what’s left of this season but says he won’t consider his football career “technically” over. He looks solid, like the running back who rushed for more yards as a Baltimore Raven than only Jamal Lewis. He smiles when someone notices.

“Football has to be secondary right now, my first priority is my wife and my kid and helping other people right now,” says Rice. “I really say that genuinely.”

 
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