Well, the Giants are playing on Thursday Night Football this week, and we all know what that means: The Giants won’t be playing on Sunday, which means Giants fans will be susceptible to the imposition of honey-do lists and the possibility of spending an entire Sunday in the company of family members who’ve been successfully dodged through the season’s first three weeks.
We always hear how hard a short week is on teams playing on Thursday night – the players are still sore, the coaches don’t have adequate time to prepare for opponents – but scant mention is made of the sacrifices that fans have to make, too.
Instead of spending Monday in a veritable coma after powering through the pregame show, the game itself, the postgame show and any number of unforeseen developments – “We’re out of beer!” – Friday now becomes the day better spent in bed. After going through the full fan cycle twice in five days, the mental, emotional and gastrointestinal toll is not to be dismissed.
Giants fans are going to be worthless on Friday, so the least the team can do is treat them to a victory over Washington. Road teams have proven to be at a decided disadvantage in Thursday night games, so it should come as no surprise that the Giants are giving 3.5 points to Washington, a team that could easily be 3-0 if their special teams had played better in their two losses.
The Giants, meanwhile, could be 2-1 if their special teams hadn’t allowed a 71-yard punt return touchdown to Ted Ginn Jr. and then fumbled the ensuing kickoff in the loss to the Cardinals. Woulda, coulda, shoulda, the special teams for New York and Washington have both been mediocre, which makes predicting this game difficult.
If I were a betting man, I wouldn’t bet the line or the over-under. But I would bet that all of the following things are going to happen during the game at FedEx Field:
1. A majority of casual fans who tune in will think, “This game can’t possibly be worse than last Thursday’s Falcons-Bucs game.”
2. Phil Simms, who is going to be calling the game on CBS with Jim Nantz, is going to do a really bad job of hiding the fact that he’s openly rooting for the Giants.
3. Eli Manning is going to do something exasperating to Giants fans, some of whom will curse at the television and call for Giants coach Tom Coughlin to put in Manning’s backup, even though most Giants fans don’t know who the backup is. And with good reason: the Giants don’t have a backup quarterback because Manning, who has the longest active starting streak among NFL quarterbacks, is like Bill Murray in “What About Bob?” -- “Gone? You think he’s gone? That’s the whole point, he’s never gone!”
4. Robert Griffin III will be compared to Wally Pipp.
5. Producers will show a picture of the Washington Monument, a symbol of our nation’s freedom, followed soon after by Simms or Nantz saying the team's name is the most racist in professional sports.
6. We’ll be treated to a clip of Lawrence Taylor breaking Joe Theismann’s leg.
7. DeSean Jackson will do something that offends somebody.
8. It will be mentioned that Washington has lost seven straight NFC East games, most likely by a giddy Phil Simms.
9. Bill Simmons will drop by the booth on the first leg of his three-week vacation from ESPN.
10. Many Giants fans will question the wisdom of staying up late to watch the end of the game. Many of those same fans will express their disdain for Thursday night games, most likely right after their spouses or significant others ask them what they want to do on Sunday
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Cameron Martin writes about the Giants for NBCNewYork.com. Martin has written for The New York Times, ESPN.com, The Atlantic, CBS Sports and other publications.
