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Psychology expert shares the 2,000-year-old Korean mindset that can help you live a ‘happier life'

Psychologist: This 2,000-year-old Korean approach to relationships can help you live a happier life
Insung Jeon | Getty

"Jeong" is a concept that has been an integral part of Korean culture and society for over 2,000 years. It translates to deep feelings of attachment, and it can happen between anyone and anything, including objects and places.

Based on the mindset that we all have a collective social responsibility, jeong primarily evolves through shared experiences. When you develop feelings of jeong for someone, you want to protect and help them.

We all crave love and connection. But when we are so caught up in the strict relational boundaries of the daily grind, we can fail to notice opportunities for jeong to take place.

As a Korean psychologist, I often introduce my patients to jeong to help them create a stronger sense of community. Practicing it daily can lead to a happier life — here's how:

1. Schedule regular quality time with loved ones.

Put monthly, weekly or even daily catch-ups with family and friends on your calendar. Prioritize protecting that time together, whether it's casually eating a meal, having deeper conversations, or simply going for a walk.

In-person quality time nourishes relationships in a way that digital communication can't. It allows us to reconnect, share experiences, support each other, and foster a sense of belonging.

2. Offer help and support.

Look for opportunities to lend a hand to others in your community, then give your help freely and generously from a place of genuine care.

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This could be giving rides (even if it's slightly out of your way), preparing and delivering meals, helping with household errands and repairs, listening without judgment, or sharing your expertise and wisdom.

3. Create meaningful shared experiences.

Bring people together and make memories through common interests and teamwork.

You could host a potluck and have each person cook a dish that reflects their cultural background, or learn a new language with a friend, or participate in traditions that are meaningful to your loved ones.

4. Expand and engage with your community.

Warmly introduce yourself to new people in your existing groups and circles. Reach out to neighbors with a homemade gift. Or you can join a local group aligned with your interests, such as parent group or church.

Make newcomers feel noticed, welcomed and included.

5. Embrace vulnerability.

With jeong, it's important to be open and authentic in your interactions. Make it a goal to share your thoughts, emotions and experiences, even if it makes you feel exposed or uncertain.

When we let go of that fear, we create opportunities for a greater understanding of ourselves and of others.

6. Be present and listen.

Jeong emphasizes the value of paying attention and being fully present in the moment. A simple way to do this is to set aside distractions and actively listen to what others have to say.

The next time you're having lunch with a friend, go beyond the surface and ask: "How are you really doing?" So many of us simply want to be heard.

Dr. Jihee Cho is a New York-based psychologist. She completed her PhD at Fordham University and works with individuals who suffer from depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship difficulties, identity issues and stressors related to immigration. She is also a co-founder at Mind in Motion psychological services.

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