White House Crisis: Shakeup in the East Wing

Nation on brink of chaos as Michelle Obama replaces chief of staff

As President Obama addressed the Muslim world yesterday on some of the most pressing international debates of our time, a terrible crisis played out behind closed doors. Did Iran have nuclear weapons? Would Israel stop building settlements? Could Muslims, Christians, and Jews all get along? Who cared? Michelle Obama replaced her chief of staff, in one of the most dramatic and swift political sleights of hand since the assassination of Caesar.

This bombshell was not dropped until late in the day, when people were too busy debating whether or not our president really spoke Arabic to notice the crisis of leadership at the upper reaches of the First Lady's staff. But what better time to release this information and make it look unimportant than on a day when the president's big speech was bound to eat up media coverage?

Clever Obamas. The nation may never know how very close it came to the brink of anarchy. Think of it this way: Mrs. Obama is widely acknowledged to be one of the president's closest advisors. Her chief of staff is, in turn, one of her closest advisors. Thus, replacing the First Lady's chief of staff is tantamount to a coup in the House of Representatives, or the quiet swapping of Rahm Emanuel with a space alien who mimics his mannerisms and speech habits.

What will America do, now that we have forever lost the leadership and wise counsel of, uh, Jackie Norris, the very important FLOTUS chief of staff of whom 99.9% of all Americans have never heard? We shall just have to hope her replacement, a person named Susan Sher, can fill her legendary shoes.

Sara K. Smith writes for NBC and Wonkette.

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