The only thing President Obama loves more than spending money on budget-busting stimulus bills is spending money on parties at the White House. He and the First Lady have run themselves ragged their first month and a half in office, throwing endless cocktail parties and even the odd celebration for Stevie Wonder. Why, it's as if they like people and enjoy entertaining!
This is simply inappropriate during a recession.
A recession calls for conspicuous thrift and distinctly antisocial behavior. Most "average Americans" spend their nights at home hunkered down over bowls of gruel with no cable TV or even network programming to keep them warm. These days their only form of entertainment is watching the pigeons outside their windows fight over the carcasses of dead roaches. Shouldn't Barack Obama be doing the same?
He surely misreads the mood of the nation if he thinks any of us are very jazzed about seeing a happy, glamorous couple throwing ritzy soirees in the White House. It just makes everyone jealous. In fact, if he had any sense of decency at all the President would move the wife and kids from DC into an abandoned West Virginia coal mine and make them use rocks for pillows. (No parties allowed!)
Instead this tone-deaf President throws gala after gala in the hopes of scaring up some sort of detente between Republicans and Democrats and maybe even having a good time. His latest effort, a bipartisan "timeout" dinner, featured steelhead salmon and an exotic substance called "toasted saffron couscous pearls." Whatever that is, it certainly sounds better than the average American dinner of a foraged Twinkie and a few sips of puddle water.
In conclusion, our economy will never recover until Barack Obama decides to stop being sociable all the time and start acting like a bitter hermit, for the good of the country.