Ponzi Schemes: The Only Growing Economic Sector

Your next career may lie in shady financial shenanigans

More people in America are unemployed than at any point in history since the invention of the internal combustion engine. Every quarter joblessness rises, incomes fall, and our economy descends further into a stinking swamp of debt and decline. In this new miserable era, is any profession safe from the whims of fortune?

Well, yes and no. Some people have decided to go to trucking school or welding school, under the assumption that America will never run out of its precious supply of trucks or metals to keep people employed. And, following Netflix's upbeat Q4 earning news, people are doubtless flooding that company with resumes. But one oft-overlooked profession turns out to be a burgeoning hotbed of economic activity.

Unemployed ladies and gents, have you considered a career in our nation's growing Ponzi scheme sector?

Opportunities range from large to small to kind of mid-sized! Like Bernard Madoff, you could fleece investors of $50 billion -- or you could start small and bilk people out of just a couple hundred million. If you're of a more conservative bent, you might forego the Ponzi element altogether and just try quietly siphoning money off people's retirement funds a couple hundred thousand dollars at a time.

Worried about getting caught? Don't be! Federal regulators ceded the moral high ground long ago when they decided to let our banks completely flush the entire global economy by selling fanciful derivatives to each other for trillions of make-believe dollars.

Financial advisor and life coach Sara K. Smith writes for Wonkette.

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