THE DIET STARTS MONDAY: Pier 94 will be one huge, ganache-slathered calorie as the 11th Annual Chocolate Show opens to the public tomorrow through Sunday, letting you sample goodies from all the big names in beans - Jacques Torres, Michel Cluizel and the like. 10AM-8PM (and through the weekend).
I WANT MY VHS: In a cross between Found magazine and Home Movie Day, the Found Footage Festival will be screening the best (and by "best" we mean most howlingly awful, disturbing or just plain silly) footage its founders have unearthed at garage sales and thrift stores across the land. At 92Y Tribeca, 8PM and 10PM (also on Saturday).
THE CLIENT NINE CANON: At KGB Bar's Sex Worker Literati evening, Tracy Quan, Elisabeth Eaves and David Henry Sterry will read stories about those who get paid to do the wild thing. 7PM.
AND A MIDDAY BONUS: Sean Connery's not the only one with bills to pay, you know. Sir Roger Moore will be signing copies of his new autobiography My Word is My Bond (geddit?) at the book giant's 46th Street store at 12:30PM.