Week in Review: Odds-Making Edition

Admittedly, your Vulture editors are no Nate Silver -- but that doesn't mean we can't prognosticate! Using the events of this week, what can we divine about the future?

Bets Safer Than a Slumdog Sweep:

-- If this year's Oscar nominees take our advice, they'll be richer, happier, and twice as likely to be nominated next year.

-- Tatiana Del Toro is the most insufferable American Idol contestant in history, and she'll be back.

-- Zack Snyder's Watchmen will be a travesty. Also, you probably don't need to see it in IMAX.

-- The Oscar red carpet will be overrun with adorable slumdogs.

-- The Roots will succumb to exhaustion.

-- Ebert and Roeper will save televised film criticism.

Bets As Probable As Kate Winslet Retiring Her "Losing Face" This Weekend:

-- Interscope will receive an angry phone call from Bono.

-- Conan O'Brien is doomed.

-- Hugh Jackman will tell a Ricky Gervais' penned Holocaust joke.

-- Americans will be horrified by Sam Mendes's penis balloons.

-- M.I.A. will perform horizontally on Sunday night.

-- Mickey Rourke will ditch his date the minute the Oscars are over.

-- Heath Ledger's Best Supporting Actor statue will go missing.

Bets As Unlikely As a Frost/Nixon Upset:

-- All of our Oscar predictions will be correct.

Previously on NYmag.com's Vulture...

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