[H&M's flagship during last season's Cavalli release]
Are you trembling with anxiety yet? Even if you don't plan to camp out on the cold sidewalk at some ungodly hour, you are sure to be lambasted tomorrow with press coverage on the release of the much-hyped Comme des Garcons for H&M Collection. After summoning all the wisdom of the retail gods, we're going to make it easy for everyone by relaying our top tips for making the shitshow successful:
· Know where to go. Only four Manhattan store will be getting the goods, and only two of those will have the nice stuff. Jot down the addresses, because we guarantee that there will be confused folks strolling into the H&Ms of Soho and Chelsea wondering where everything went. Here are the stores: 640 5th Avenue at 51st Street (flagship, will have "the dress" and other nicer items), 731 Lexington Avenue at 59th Street (the other store carrying the good stuff), 1328 Broadway at 34th Street and 435 7th Avenue at 34th Street.
· Dress for the press. If tomorrow is a slow news day, it means your face could end up on the evening news. There will be cameras and reporters looking for willing subjects for interviews. Should you wish to be known as one of the crazy early risers, dress fabulously and look alert in line. Everyone else will be huddled into their hoodies and Starbucks, so you're more likely to be chosen for the limelight.
· Know all the details now. Don't waltz into the store and ask an H&M employee about the garment limit or anything, because they don't always have the facts straight. Trust us, we've already scouted the locations and some of the staff was completely clueless.
· Have some respect. Hey, we're all in this boat together. Don't block racks while you search for a size and don't grab ten of the same item until you can go into the corner and decide. That is BAD sportsmanship and you will be the victim of the reports of flying elbows and cuss words. The name of the game is "yoink." You see, you swipe, you move on.
· Stick it out. Did they sell out of your favorite piece before you could even see it on the rack? If it's on a mannequin, they will sell it to you. Just grab hold of that mannequin and summon an H&M staffer to take apart the mannequin for you. We saw plenty of this during the Cavalli release, so watch out for flying plastic arms.
· Believe in miracles. ... if you hang out by the fitting rooms. Don't crowd the area, a line will form of folks hoping for cast-offs just as you are. People have second thoughts behind closed doors, so that deconstructed jacket in a size 4 may be yours after all.
· Show us some love. We'll be fighting this one from the trenches alongside you guys, so tell us about your spoils and any stories. Track our twitter and the site throughout tomorrow for the latest and the greatest.