The Shutter Tally: February Was the Cruelest Month

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Suba has gone to meet the great tapas maker in the sky.

Good morning and welcome to March, the third month of this year. Thank god it wasn't a leap year because I'm not sure if the restaurant industry could have handled one more day of February slaughter.

Here we remember the restaurants that have passed away. [If you really want to bum yourself out, play this song as you read through.]


A is for Ambrosia, once sweet but since soured.
B is for Bull Run once for brokers, now broke and deflowered.
C is for Cafe De Nova, old and now ova.
D is for Dunkin Donuts, Feldshuht just like Tovah
E is for Theee Coffee Chamber, five e's now on the street
F is for FR.OG, poorly punctuated conceit.
G is for La Goulou, a glutton who died of starvation
H is for How Sweet it Is, or Was but now: Desperation
I is for irony for NoNo, now isn't
J is for jobless, which many chefs are in this instance
K is for the killer who did in Lunetta
L is for El Atazcoan whose odds were against it
M is for Empanada Joes, whose crusted enclosures have finally collapsed
N is for no faith, if Miracle Grill was catholic, it would now be lapsed.
O is for the oysters at Docks which will now go unshucked
P is for Spicy Pickle, a sub-selling deli that sold none and got fucked
Q for Bar Q, Anita Lo's venture that made Bleecker St bleaker
R is for RIP: Le Gamin, Cookout Grill et al who've all gone out feet first, led by the economy's sneaker.
S is for Sober which we've been more of since Vin Rouge's passing
T is for Tragedie. Fleur de Sel's death left us gasping
U is for those unlisted who didn't fit into this rubric
V is for Via Oreto, eyes wide shuttered just like in Kubrick
W is for all the Whisky LeNell will no longer be selling
X is for exiled tribesmen, homeless since Tribe's felling
Y is for Yorganic, the canary of the trend we all thought was dumb
Z is for Zero to which One Ten Grill now add up to in sum.

[Moment of silence.]

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