Recession-Survival Tips From a Shoplifter

How one broke New Yorker eats like a king by stuffing gourmet vittles into his pants

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Is that an expensive sausage in your pants, or are you just happy to see us?

If the recession has you concerned that you may have to dial down your imported cheese habit or switch (God forbid) to second-press olive oil, Gothamist has your salvation in the form of an interview with one of New York's most seasoned gourmet shoplifters. The man (well, we think it's a man) we'll call Shoplifter X agreed to share his technique on condition of anonymity, and we have to say, this guy is a pro (he could give Winona some tips) and eats way, way better than we do. It's all kind of awe-inspiring. Some highlights:

  • Shoplifter X's first take was "a really expensive sausage that I put under my pants."
  • Today, he racks up about $100 of five-finger discounts in a week.
  • His regular beat includes Whole Foods, whose "infrastructure" and "blind spots" he has down cold.
  • He's been shoplifting for six or seven years without getting caught -- which is about $30,000 of tasty treats overall.
  • His biggest single haul included three pounds of wild tuna and a bottle of the "best quality Italian olive oil."
  • Biggest mistakes you can make include not getting to know a store's camera system, rushing, and hitting grocery stores close to where you live.

Read the full interview here.

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