And the writer is...Jenna Sauers.
The New Zealander has penned her final essay as Tatiana here, but she's going to continue to contribute to the site, just under her own name.
The commenters are going a little bananas over there, throwing around words like The New Yorker and Joan Didion regarding her writing style, which might be a wee bit of a stretch. Though I will continue to check in on what she has to say in the future.
So were any of you right? Did you know it was Jenna?