Brooklyn to Smell 25% Less Shitty in a Quarter Century!!!

Great news, friends. The city has "struck an agreement" on "sewage" with the state. Yawn, right? Well, not if you're anywhere near one of the neighborhoods (hint: Greenpoint, Bay Ridge, etc.) that smell like the men's rooms at Madison Square Garden after a load of bad bean burritos got handed out on Free Burrito Night. Yummy. So, the city and state have cut a deal to bring the city's 14 sewage treatment plants into compliance with environmental laws (very heartwarming and the kind of thing that renews basic faith in that thing called government) and to "speed the upgrade of the largest — at Newtown Creek in Brooklyn — and offer some restitution to neighbors who have put up for years with bad smells and polluted waterways." So, Greenpoint, you're only going to have to putting up with smelling like shit for another decade or so. Scout's Honor. The agreement also says the city will "spend $10 million on neighborhood projects around the Greenpoint section of Brooklyn, home to the Newtown Creek plant." Uh, but, the money is going to pay "for creating or improving public parks and waterfront access" and some other stuff. (Parks? WTF?) We'd heard that they were actually going to build Greenpoint a 75-story tall tower of Glade Lilac Spring air freshener that would automatically give the nabe that fresh sprayed just shit-up toilet smell that puts a smile on all faces. Ah, we love it when life promises to get better.
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