For about three weeks last month we ran reader poems about Grant Achatz, submitted as entries to an Eater ticket giveaway for Achatz's book party/tasting event at Astor Center coming up this Thursday. Yesterday we asked the Chicago chef—who was only mildly creeped out by the contest— to choose a winner, and he gave us his top four picks. The winner (who won for creativity), followed by the runners up (who will just have to buy a ticket like the rest of us), ahead:
Think of the things I could eat
If Mr. Achatz I could meet:
Frozen avocado puffs over teriyaki broth,
Candied cilantro lollipops and fricasseed sloth,
Smoked tofu whipped with air,
With a side of fried pear!
I would be glorious, weird, orgasmic and more,
But alas I cannot go, because I am poor.
What's this you say, a ticket is free?
And all you must see is a poem made by me?
I think I can do it, it doesn't seem so hard.
The people I know tell me I'm quite a card.
Ok let's think….a poem about food.
Well, being so hungry has put me in the mood.
But it's hard to write this poem!
I mean what rhymes with foam?
Fine, I give up, oh woe is me.
I'll never eat frozen cheese topped with braised lychee.
I can't write this poem, I guess I'll never have fun.
Wait…what..huh? I guess it's already done.
The following runners up won for simplicity:
Grant Achatz is a man who plays with his food,
but the tastes he creates are anything but crude,
Even cancer could not stop this culinary whiz,
from dreaming up bites that explode, pop, and fizz,
So please "Grant" me the chance to taste his creations,
paired with Laurent-Perrier bubbling libations!
When foodies are in the White City,
To skip Alinea's a pity,
I've not had Achatz
With these empty pockets,
To miss him for free would be shitty.
And last, this runner up was chosen out of sympathy:
As a great fan of Chef Grant Achatz,
I write to you, Eater, in rhyme,
And this poèm contest attack. It's
Lucky. It comes just in time
To help me out. It's my boyfriend's birthday a
Couple days after November Six,
And eating food from the great Alinea
Would be to him a real kick.
You see he loves Molecular Gastronomy. But here's the thing:
We're students: while this food spectacular We'd love to try, we lack the bling.
So to re-use a Star Wars trope:
Help Us Eater, You're Our Only Hope!