Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and prepare your response to the State of the Union address. Why didn’t the President say anything about the radiator sitting out in Mrs. Jessup’s front yard? You talk about damaging the country! LET’S GO!
FACEOFF – 10:00PM (SyFy – an NBC/Universal network) From the folks at SyFy comes this new reality competition that pits aspiring Hollywood makeup artists and special effects designers against one another. Because after “Project Runway” and “Top Chef,” where else can you go but to the subsegment of humanity that worships at the altar of Rick Baker? Tonight’s first challenge forces the artists to create a human/animal hybrid. Like Dr. Moreau, only REAL! Well, not real. But fake real, which is still kinda real. Also note this show’s logo. You can tell they were dying to stick a slash in between FACE and OFF, just like that Nic Cage movie. But that slash is proprietary. Nic owns that slash, people. ANTICIPATION: HEAVY MAKEUP!
THE TRAVELER’S GUIDE TO LIFE – 10:00PM (Travel Channel) This new Travel Channel series features random celebrities talking about their favorite travel experiences and getting to visit places you probably won’t. Included in tonight’s premiere episode are Buzz Aldrin, Andrew Zimmern, and the lady who plays Jan on “The Office.” Tell me she went somewhere with nude beaches. Nude beaches always sound so promising on paper. ANTICIPATION: NO PASSPORT NEEDED!
NOVA scienceNOW – 8:00PM (PBS) The most awkwardly titled PBS show in the universe takes a look at the possibility of living forever through computer avatars. If this means we’ll all turn blue and be featured in mildly racist James Cameron movies, you can count me out. But if it means we’ll all get to become CyberChrist, like at the end of “The Lawnmower Man,” I am DOWN. ANTICIPATION: CREEPY!
MY STRANGE ADDICTION – 9:00PM (TLC) My favorite show to look up in the guide features a woman who picks scabs off her body up to two hours a day (that sounds fun, actually), and a man who is in a serious relationship with a doll. It’s just like that Ryan Gosling movie, only no one thinks it’s cute and the guy looks NOTHING like Ryan Gosling. ANTICIPATION: DOUBLE CREEPY!
WHEN WOMEN KILL – 10:00PM (E!) When women kill, everything smells nice! And the bodies are arranged in a lovely star formation! And thank you notes are written within a week of the killing. Women are great like that. ANTICIPATION: MURRRRDER!