A breakdown of the first video from "Watch The Throne."
1st: Hov's Yankee cap with the snapback, which he so recklessly loses when he decides to make sparks with his hand. It's like, you "made the Yankee cap more famous than the Yankees did," man. And if I remember correctly your hat size is 7 3/8. And even before you invented Swag, all my little league team really wanted was Profit © caps. So now you're the epitome of cool and no one sells Yankee snapbacks anywhere because of you and you're willing to get one Lost like a Coldplay remix – refashioned but not right, man.
B: That car costs like half a mil. I think you could cram four models in the back without cutting the doors off. But from what I understand this specific Battlebot is going to be sold on eBay or something? To whom? Warren Buffet? Who besides Jay-Z has enough money to buy a Maybach, let alone one that breathes fire, is full of babes and spins cookies like my high school Escort? Just cram that thing in the national deficit. Or maybe that’s the point: “You’re all AA+ while we’re at this monochrome Air Force base we just bought, flipping out and getting awkward with Aziz Ansari – bonus.” Also: “I was one of the girls in the back of the Mad Max Jay-Z car.” (But for real, Warren Buffet please buy the car because all benefits go to the crisis in East Africa. That’s real. Really.)
Third: Spike Jonze usually brings it. I mean, he’s done videos for everyone from Dinosaur Jr. to The Pharcyde and they are always kind of odd – even Weezer got a pack of golden retrievers from out of nowhere. I get it, this is all about “Jay is chillin’, Ye is chillin’ what more can I say?” You could say why you made Spike Jonze only push in on you while you mouth one another’s lines – which, I might add, is the sure sign of the amateur! I just don’t get it. Where are the humiliating costumes? The oddball characters? The billion frames per second? The toddlers taking over the mansions? Spike, were you indicating an early slide to senility when you dressed all old and made out with Johnny Knoxville?
Last: Pretty sure Kanye changes pants -- to avoid car-hack damage -- after the opening sequence.
I'm obviously picking the bones here. Just check it out:
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